


Defying gravity

by Jules_In_Neverland



Category: Krashlyn - Fandom, USWNT - Fandom, Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, F/M, M/M, Romance, a little bit of smut, death of toddler, krashlyn endgame, mentions of abuse, some violence (not too graphic)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-30 09:27:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10873932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules_In_Neverland/pseuds/Jules_In_Neverland
Summary: (STORY ON HOLD)Ashlyn Harris comes back completely wrecked after being kidnapped for a year in which far too much happened to her and her family. With her teammates by her side and the possibility of finding love in her best friend again, once and for all, she'll confront her fears and try her best to keep herself afloat but, will she be able to hold herself in one piece when she's nothing but a wreck in the inside?This fic tries to show that even the best can fall low, and that being there can be really hard but also tries to enlighten it and offer help.Author's Note: I'm not going to include graphic descriptions of rape or violence but they do happen in this fic. However, it is spoken thoroughly about depression, mental health, alcoholism...THIS FIC WILL HAVE MANY THINGS THAT DON'T CORRESPOND WITH REAL FACTS. IS BASED IN REAL LIFE ONLY VERY LIGHTLY.





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new fic! I haven't abandoned "Our next great adventure", it's in fact finished and new chapters will be posted as reviews come. So I needed some other entertainment ;D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn Harris comes back completely wrecked after being kidnapped for a year in which far too much happened to her and her family. With her teammates by her side and the possibility of finding love in her best friend again, once and for all, she'll confront her fears and try her best to keep herself afloat but, will she be able to hold herself in one piece when she's nothing but a wreck in the inside?  
> This fic tries to show that even the best can fall low, and that being there can be really hard but also tries to enlighten it and offer help.
> 
> Author's Note: I'm not going to include graphic descriptions of rape or violence but they do happen in this fic. However, it is spoken thoroughly about depression, mental health, alcoholism...
> 
> THIS FIC WILL HAVE MANY THINGS THAT DON'T CORRESPOND WITH REAL FACTS. IS BASED IN REAL LIFE ONLY VERY LIGHTLY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my new fic! I haven't abandoned "Our next great adventure", it's in fact finished and new chapters will be posted as reviews come. So I needed some other entertainment ;D

The start of 2015 had marked the start of a new era for the United States’ Women’s National Soccer Team, that now had just beaten France in a cold February day in Florida, with Ashlyn Harris as the goalkeeper after Hope Solo’s retirement, as they approached the Women’s World Cup. The team was celebrating at a club that night.

“Good game Ash.” Ali reached Ashlyn and hugged her tightly, using a hand to stroke her short dark hair.

“Thanks” Ashlyn breathed out with a smirk “you helped.” Ali winked and grabbed her hand to drag her to the dance floor.

At one point Ashlyn excused herself to go to the bathroom and made her way down the little corridor where it was. She was just getting out of it when someone grabbed her arm. She yanked it away and turned fiercely to look at a figure in the darkness, feeling her heart beating painfully strong in her chest.

“What the fuck?” Ashlyn snapped.

“You’re Chris’ little sister.” A raspy voice said from the darkness.

“Yes, and if you touch me or him, I’ll break your face. Last call.” Ashlyn said. The figure laughed and Ashlyn walked quickly back upstairs. She felt disturbed and her pulse was accelerated. She couldn’t stop looking over her shoulder “We’re leaving. Now.” Ashlyn said grabbing Ali’s arm as the girl danced. Ali turned around confused feeling the strength of the hold and looked at Ashlyn with wide eyes and a concerned frown.

“What? Is everything okay Ash?” her best friend asked.

“There’s a weird dude in the bathroom… look, I don’t want to be here.” Ashlyn said, and Ali sensed her distress.

“Okay, it’s okay” Ali held her hand and looked nervously towards the stairs. She could only see dark. She turned around and looked at the rest of the group “Girls! We should all leave.”

“But the party just started!” Tobin said dancing to the beats.

“Ashlyn has spotted a stalker next to the bathroom.” Ali said plainly. The girls frowned and came closer.

“What?” Allie asked and looked concerned “are you okay Ash, did he hurt you?”

“I’m okay, he just grabbed my arm…” Ashlyn frowned at the memory “I don’t know, it was very weird. I just want to go back to the hotel.”

“Yeah, we can put some music and have a party there” Sydney said “come on, I don’t want to be anywhere near that weirdo.”

“I agree” Whitney looked at Ashlyn in concern “he could be dangerous. Let’s go.” The other girls nodded and as soon as a couple Ubers arrived they were on their way back to the hotel.

Ashlyn was too shaken up but she didn’t want to ruin the party so she let the girls have fun and at some point she excused to her bedroom and called Chris, her brother.

“Sis, I love you but you better have a good excuse to call me at…” Ashlyn let go a sob “Ash? What’s wrong little one?” Chris said full of concern.

“Are you in trouble again Chris? Are you doing drugs?” Ashlyn asked with a broken voice, keeping her tears at bay again.

“What? Ashlyn” Chris was surprised to say the least “I swear, I’ve been clean for years. I haven’t been in contact with anyone in that world either.”

“Then why did some weird dude came to me tonight in the creepiest of ways telling me I was your sister?” Ashlyn asked.

“That’s what happened?” Chris asked in disbelief, raising his voice a little in surprise “Ash, tell me everything.” Ashlyn told her the whole story and afterwards Chris wanted to kill whoever had done that, but he was miles away from her city “Look, I have no idea what that was about sweetheart… but look” Chris breathed deeply “you need to stay safe and be responsible. Don’t go anywhere alone. Maybe he’s just a creepy fan okay? We used to tweet back and forth, your fans know we’re siblings. You’re leaving for Nashville tomorrow right? So don’t worry. This will be the last time you see that creep.”

“I hope you’re right Chris, I hope you’re right.” Ashlyn breathed out.

After the phone call, she checked her networks like usual: Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram… some were only private accounts, but others required a more thorough look, and she usually took some time to answer to a few comments if she had time. It was usual to see pictures of herself on the screen, but what surprised her was to see several pictures of her from that night, in the corridor of those bathrooms, and it looked like the only persons that could’ve taken the picture were either the weird man who grabbed her, or someone behind. Her eyes widened reading the tweet that came with the picture: ‘this isn’t over, I’m watching you’. She clicked on the account and the minute she did, her phone turned off. She frowned and turned her phone back on, logged back onto twitter, and looked for that tweet or that account, but neither were there anymore. With her heart beating strongly in her chest and shaking hands, she went to exit her bedroom and then collided with Ali, who was about to knock against the door.

“Ash!” Ali grabbed her to make sure she didn’t fall. Ashlyn nervously looked up and smiled at her.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there…” Ali frowned when she saw Ashlyn’s face.

“Are you okay?” Ashlyn’s lip quivered as the idea of hiding what happened disappeared from her mind. She couldn’t lie to those eyes so she shook her head and Ali guided her back inside the room.

There, Ashlyn told her everything and when she was over, Ali nodded slowly, assimilating everything, before holding her hand softly between her own.

“What do you think?” Ashlyn asked her.

“I think he’s just some crazy dude, Ash…” Ali sighed “unfortunately, these things happen. We’re famous people and not everyone who claims to adore us really does. Some people are just creepy weirdoes who don’t care about our privacy, safety or security and think is funny to scare us around and I think this guy just wanted to laugh with his friends imagining your fear.”

“So you think I’m actually safe?” Ashlyn asked. Ali smiled and nodded.

“Of course. Everyone knows you’re Chris’ little sister, it’s all over the internet, and the whole thing just sounds as if some crazy fan wanted to laugh with your scared face. This is like the crazy one in class, if you ignore them, they’ll stop.” Ashlyn felt relief wash over her. Ali was always the voice of reason for her passionate heart, and she was quick to smile a little.

“You’re right. Thanks Alex, let’s just forget this bullshit…”

“True, so let’s go before the girls proclaim a new dancing queen.” Ashlyn laughed as Ali pulled her out of the bedroom and back to the party.

As the days passed by, Ashlyn’s life was more and more normal every day and the wins and training made her quickly forget the creepy events. Before the summer, Alex, Ali and Ashlyn had been enjoying their time playing for the Orlando Pride in Florida. Ali had just been named into the team and since they had been busy with the national team, she hadn’t had time to look for her own place and was staying with Ashlyn in the meantime, which both girls secretly loved more than they’d like to admit. But the more relaxing time ended quickly and before they knew it, it was the summer and they were in Canada, as part of the World Cup team, and had just beaten Sweden at the semifinals.

“Hey you” Ashlyn chuckled seeing Ali come outside to the garden of the hotel, where she was exercising her abs a little, wearing only a sports bra and boxers. Ali had been taking a nap and her sleepy eyes quickly drifted to Ashlyn’s contracting abs and she blushed a little, but Ashlyn was too busy staring at Ali’s beautiful brown locks falling loose over her shoulders composing the most perfect bed hair to notice.

“Hi…” Ali gulped and moved her eyes to Ashlyn’s face, smiling a little “you doing exercise? Willingly?” she decided that messing around with her friend a little bit would distract the attention from her staring.

“Hey!” Ashlyn sat up and tried to hide her chuckle “that isn’t funny. I’m an athlete. I do plenty of exercise willingly.”

“Sure…” Ali sat next to her “it’s not funny at all…” she murmured as her hands started to move towards Ashlyn’s torso creepily. Ali raised her eyebrows and Ashlyn shot a suspicious look to her fingers.

“Don’t you…” but it was too late, Ali had already started a tickle attack and Ashlyn struggled to find oxygen, laughing strongly. At one point, Ali had gotten Ashlyn to lie on her back, turning and tossing and trying to slap Ali’s hands away while laughing uncontrollably and Ali was laughing too, hovering over her. Suddenly, their faces were so close Ashlyn stopped laughing and opened her eyes, feeling Ali’s breath over her lips. Ali was staring at her with darkened eyes, her hands no longer tickling her. “Al…”

“Sh…” Ali whispered hoarsely, leaning closer.

Ashlyn closed her eyes and moved her hands to Ali’s cheeks, and then suddenly Ali snapped awake and pulled back quickly. Ashlyn’s eyes opened wide and she frowned in confusion, sitting up.

“Ali!”

“I’m sorry.” Ali stood up and ran away.

“Alex!” Ashlyn ran after her but she had only given two steps forward, strong arms wrapped her from behind, she felt a pinch in her neck, and everything went black.

“Ali, where’s Ash?” Jill asked her during dinner, as the whole team sat together. Ali looked up at her and then around and frowned.

“I don’t know…” Ali said, noticing her ex girlfriend’s absence.

“I’ve called her a bunch of times and she’s not picking up. We need her, we have a team meeting right after dinner.” Jill reminded her. Ali nodded and shrugged.

“I have no idea Jill, I saw her a couple hours ago, she was right by the pool sitting.” Ali explained, feeling worried and guilty suddenly. Ashlyn and she had been together since 2008, when they were still in University. Then, Ali went to Frankfurt and their relationship was tested, until they finally broke up and Ali came back to the States looking to amend things, but Ashlyn was too pissed off for that. A couple years later, in 2014, Ali finally managed to win her back, but it only lasted for seven months before the insecurities and resentment Frankfurt had created broke things off again and they had been trying to be friends ever since, which wasn’t always easy. They loved each other, they just couldn’t be together. “Maybe she’s gone out and has no battery?” she tried to dissimulate her worry.

“I hope so.” Jill sighed “I’ll tell security to keep eyes open for her though.”

Ashlyn missed the meeting and that was enough to have the team overly worried.

“Didn’t she tell you where she was going?” Tobin asked Ali when they came back to the hotel after they had all gone to look for her.

“She didn’t seem like she was going anywhere” Ali said for what felt like the twentieth time “she was in sports bra and shorts and flip flops, not the attire to go around Canada. She didn’t say she was going anywhere either. She was just having a lazy day.” Ali was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Attention please” the chief of security of the hotel spoke, as they all were gathered in the entry in that moment. Ali and Tobin directed their attention to him too “since it has only been a few hours, police won’t consider this a missing person. However, since she’s an athlete and is required for her job, a security team has been sent to look for her around the city and the World Cup locations, but that’s about it. If forty eight hours pass without seeing her, she’ll pass to be a missing person and we’ll treat it as such. In the meantime, we advice to say around the media that we know nothing about her and ask people to call police if they see her anyway.”

  



	2. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The USWNT debates whether Ashlyn is or not still alive a year after she went missing, as they face the Olympics. Meanwhile, someone will appear to throw some light into the case.

A whole year had passed since that sad day that now weighted over their golden medals just like it had weighted over the World Cup win the year before. The whole team should be out there celebrating, it was their win night, but instead, they were all gathered in their hotel room in Rio, remembering Ashlyn. After months of search, police had given it up. Nothing had ever appeared from her. Not a flip flop. Not a hair. Not a drop of blood. It was like if she just vanished. With no leads, after ten months it had been declared close case, and everyone was asked to move on.

“It doesn’t feel like she’s dead though.” Pinoe commented in a barely audible whisper.

“But she can’t be alive either, after all this time…” Christen said.

“Why not?” Tobin shrugged “We’re family, we would feel it if she was gone.”

“Someone took her, Tobin.” Ali said from a corner of the room, her voice raspy from crying “She wouldn’t have left just like that and we all know that for sure with no space for a doubt so, someone took her away from us. Someone good enough to not leave a trace, so…” Ali shrugged and bit her lip, looking at her friends “Why would they bother so much to then just let her be?”

“So you think she’s…?” Carli asked.

“I don’t feel she’s dead” Ali admitted “but we have to stand by the evidence and stop having false hope that will only torture us further. She would’ve wanted us to move on.”

“How can you say that shit Ali?” Sydney argued “We can’t just forget her! Put her in a box like police did and pretend nothing happened! Justice needs to be done and we can’t stop having hope, we’re all she has, if we give up…”

“And we have to move on!” Ali argued back “It hurts me too Sydney, it kills me, but she loved life and she wouldn’t want us to do this to ourselves...” she started crying and Crystal went and hugged her. They knew Ali, doesn’t matter what she said, would never lost her hope. She loved Ashlyn. She was just trying to convince her heart with empty words.

After the World Cup, the team had a match in DC, back home. They were just relaxing by the pool of their hotel one day, enjoying the sun of the summer.

“Ali, go for the ball!” Amy Rodriguez yelled at Ali after the brunette missed the ball during their water polo game and it flew far, colliding with a big sack of sand that was nearby next to some flowers in which the gardener must have been working on earlier.

Ali got out of the pool and jogged to get the ball.

“Got it!” Ali yelled when she took the ball. She was about to turn around and jog back to the pool when she heard something coming from the bag of sand, that was pretty huge. Ali got closer tentatively, thinking it was maybe a squirrel. They were quite common in Washington.

“Help…” it was a bare whisper, and if Ali hadn’t been so close already, she wouldn’t have heard it. She dropped the ball and pressed her ear to the half filled sack. She felt and heard a slight movement going on inside and then she heard it again, the raspy voice, this time clearer “please…” followed by a grunt of pain. Ali didn’t think twice before pulling down from the upper part of the open sack, that was just a bit over her head in height, and since the sack was only full to her hips, she easily pulled the sack down enough to throw her arms over it and sneak a peek, putting her head inside. Her heart jumped when she saw a body sitting on the sand, the back pressed against the plastic wall, the body entirely covered in sand, dirt and… blood.

“Help!” Ali yelled, looking back to the girls “There’s someone injured here! Call for help!” The girls immediately moved, getting out of the pool and grabbing t-shirts and towels. Some ran back to the hotel to call security and others came to Ali. Ali climbed inside the sack and put a hand over the body’s shoulder. She noticed it was a tall adult, incredibly thin but with muscles, bone and muscle being perfectly visible through the skin, that was no more than a thin tanned up layer of carcass over such a skinny person, and it was wearing long elegant pants and a short sleeved elegant button down. The clothing was covered in bloody scratches and tons of sand “Hey.” Ali rubbed the shoulder gently “It’s okay, you’re going to be okay. Can you tell me your name?” Ali said gently. She moved her hand to the short, brown hair, that had sand and dried blood that also covered her face.

“Ah…” the individual murmured. Ali knelt beside the body and, with a towel one of the girls passed her, tried to wipe off the sand from her face, eyes, and the dried blood. She then gasped. In front of her was no other than Ashlyn Michelle Harris.

It had been two days since they had found Ashlyn and put her into a good hospital in DC. The woman had been unconscious between her own exhaustion, trauma and sedation, so they hadn’t had the chance to ask questions. In the hospital they cleaned her thoroughly, took care of her multiple scratches and superficial injuries, bandaged a sprained ankle, a sprained wrist, deeper injuries in her knees and knuckles, took care of her three broken ribs, bandaged the swollen purple eye and broken cheek bone, and put plenty of pillows under her concussed head. Together with long, dirty nails -now neatly cut- plus the bruises that covered her body and her dry, peeling off lips, she looked like shit.

The woman lied down on her bed, covered with sheets up to her waist letting visible her white and blue gown. She was pale and had a tube going into her arm through an IV to keep her well feed and a nasal cannula that should provide her with oxygen so her body. She was so thin the bones were pretty visible, she had lost so much weight.

Her hazel eyes opened slowly and scanned the blurry room, without the strength to make a noise or move a muscle. When her eyes connected with Chris’ ones, as he sat next to her, she smiled softly and her eyes filled with tears.

“Hi.” Chris grinned at his little sister and leant to kiss her face “How are you feeling?”

“Weak” Ashlyn murmured softly. Chris nodded and gave her hand a gentle squeeze “Chris…”

“Sh… rest. We’ve waited all this time, we can wait a few hours more, you need to sleep and let the meds work so you can feel better soon” Chris said softly with a gentle smile “the important thing now is that you’re safe and no one will ever hurt you again. I promise you.” Ashlyn smiled a little and nodded. She was a bit uneasy about the ‘we’ve waited all this time’ not knowing how long that was exactly, but she was too tired to give it more thought and she was soon back in Morpheus’ arms.

Shortly after there was a knock on the door and Ali, Whitney, and Mike and Tammye Harris, who had been in the cafeteria, came in.

“She woke up a little ago” Chris told his parents as the married couple sat close by on some chairs, before they could ask “she wasn’t feeling too strong yet, but she recognized me and was happy to see me. She fell back asleep shortly after I assured her she was safe.” He moved so his parents could sit the closest to Ashlyn and he sat on the feet on the bed. Whitney and Ali stood on the other side of the bed and Ali gently stroke Ashlyn’s hair, that no longer had dry blood on it and was clean and brown like chocolate, as it was her natural color, before pressing her lips softly and carefully against her forehead. Ashlyn kept sleeping, unbeknownst to her.

That night, Ali saw Ashlyn wake up again and Ashlyn smiled when she saw her.

“Pretty.” Ashlyn whispered weakly. Ali giggled and then started crying and hid her face against Ashlyn’s shoulder. Ashlyn moved her face towards her and kissed her head while whispering comforting words. The long haired brunette calmed herself down quickly and kissed her cheek as Ashlyn’s parents had their own breakdown “I’m fine.” Ashlyn said firmly when she managed enough strength “I’m okay.”

“My baby girl, do you want some water?” Ashlyn’s dad, Mike, asked. Ashlyn nodded and he handed Tammye a glass of water from a bottle they had bought, and she helped her drink it less anxiously than how Ashlyn had felt like drinking it.

“More please” Ashlyn whispered when her glass was empty. Her parents focused on giving her all the water she wanted and then Ashlyn wanted food, and tearfully Tammye asked her doctor to bring something her daughter could have, and then she sat and helped Ashlyn eat her dinner: a small plate of white rice with some chicken. Ashlyn, as hungry as she was, and as nice as the dish smelled making her want to just eat it all in one sitting, couldn’t keep much food down at once because her stomach was used to starvation, so the doctor indicated them how much she could eat and instructed her to stop when she felt full and continue in a while “That was so good.” Ashlyn whispered when she finally managed to eat the whole plate.

“If you want something else your brother can run to the store and get it for you.” Tammye said lovingly, caressing Ashlyn’s face with a sweet smile before kissing her on the healthy cheek.

“Thanks mommy.” Ashlyn said, sounding less like an almost thirty one year old and more like a toddler.

“I’m going to get something to the store anyway in case you get hungry during the night.” Chris decided standing up and patting Ashlyn’s feet with a chuckle “Be right back sistah.” Ashlyn smiled a little and mouthed a thank you before leaning back against the pillows and closing her eyes for a second, relaxing on the bed.

“Ash…” Whitney bit her lip nervously “police wanted to speak with you whenever you’re ready. They’d like to catch whoever did this to you. Because… someone is responsible for this right?”

Ashlyn looked at her best friend ever since high school and sighed.

“Yes, I was kidnapped and I ran away from my kidnapper. It’s a very long story” Ashlyn whispered with a raspy voice “and I don’t have the energy for it. My kidnapper is probably states away by now anyway so…” Ashlyn shrugged very slightly “no hurry. I’ll talk about it when I can.” Whitney nodded.

“I will let them know.” Whitney smiled and got out of the room for barely a few seconds, since police was right outside “They have a security guard by the door just in case the kidnapper comes back okay?” Whitney informed them when she came back in. Ashlyn gave a nod accompanied by a soft smile, her lips pressed together.

“Is there something else we can do for you sweetheart? Do you need to go to the bathroom maybe?” Mike asked patting his daughter’s hand. Ashlyn gave him a weak smile and barely shook her head.

“It’s fine daddy.” Ashlyn assured weakly “I think the bathroom part is covered anyway” she added with a chuckle pulling from the sheets to look under them a little “no, I just want to rest now. I should be fine for the rest of the night.”

“Good, well if you need anything just ask” Ali grinned happy to be looking at a face she thought she’d never see again other than in pictures. Ashlyn smiled at her and looked at her so adoringly Ali felt a tornado in her stomach.

However, Ashlyn’s eyes suddenly filled with worry and she bit her lip nervously a little, looking down.

“Could someone… stay with me tonight? I… I don’t want to be alone.” Ashlyn asked seeming for one moment a toddler again. Everyone conceded in staying immediately, speaking at once, and when they realized they were all accepting at the same time, they looked at each other and laughed.

“Well, I think we should probably make a schedule for the nights she’s here or home so someone can always be with her?” Whitney assured. They had already made kind of a schedule for the prior couple days, but now they could be better organized since they counted with Ashlyn’s opinion.

So for the next hour they sat and between them and people they texted, they agreed in a schedule that was fine by Ashlyn. She was very happy they were so willing to not leave her alone and they really made an effort so she wouldn’t feel like a weight in their shoulders. At the end, she fell asleep and Christopher stayed with her the whole night.

“Well, I think we should probably make a schedule for the nights she’s here or home so someone can always be with her?” Whitney assured. They had already made kind of a schedule for the prior couple days, but now they could be better organized since they counted with Ashlyn’s opinion.

So for the next hour they sat and between them and people they texted, they agreed in a schedule that was fine by Ashlyn. She was very happy they were so willing to not leave her alone and they really made an effort so she wouldn’t feel like a weight in their shoulders. At the end, she fell asleep and Christopher stayed with her the whole night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you for all your reviews and support and well, please keep leaving comments, they really keep me going!


	3. Tough explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Police makes Ashlyn take a difficult step into informing everyone of what went on during her year missing.

The tenth day Ashlyn was in the hospital, she still hadn’t added any info about her whereabouts and she was only four kilos stronger, since she threw up every time she ate too much in one sitting -and too much in her case was pretty much like an apple size of food- but now she was finally starting to be able to eat a little more, and soon her voice sounded stronger and she started giving actual good smiles.

That afternoon she was sitting up in bed listening to all the USWNT’s adventures with the World Cup and the Olympic gold medal they just won. Although it saddened Ashlyn that she was forcefully kept away from all of that, she could see her team had been broken by that too, so she just sat and happily and excitedly listened to all the exciting adventures. She was in bliss just to hear them again. In the meantime, her parents, some friends, Chris, Kyle and Debbie Christopher sat nearby.

O’Reilly had just told her the taste of an Olympic gold medal when there was a knock on the door and a couple came in.

“Ms. Harris” a female tall woman started gently “I’m Detective Nicole Fleischmann and this is my partner, Detective Alex Weight.” The two showed up their badges.

“Nice to meet you” Ashlyn gave them a nod and a polite smile “came to hear my friends’ stories about the Olympics? Apparently a gold medal tastes like success.” Ashlyn added with a chuckle. Detective Fleischmann smiled for a moment but shook her head.

“I’m afraid not. We need to speak with you, Ms. Harris. An investigation was opened when you disappeared a year ago and it was abandoned when we ran out of leads. Now that you’re here we need to know what happened so we can arrest a criminal before they strike again, it’s our job and we need your help for that. You’re our only lead in this case.” Detective Fleischmann said. Ashlyn sighed and her smile vanished.

“Detective, I really appreciate it and I will help, I promise I will tell all I know, but not yet. I’m not ready. I thought after a year and after you gave up on me” she added bitterly glaring at the two detectives “I would get to rest and go my own pace before being disturbed again. Isn’t it the least I deserve?”

“Yes ma’am, that’s why we’ve been waiting, but we can’t afford more waiting. The doctor gave green light days ago. If you don’t help us now, we could arrest you for obstruction to justice.” Detective Weight intervened. Ashlyn frowned but before she could answer, Detective Fleischmann intervened again.

“Detective Weight isn’t wrong, ma’am. Look, we understand is hard and difficult, but we’ve waited ten days. We have no clue what’s been going on or if those who kidnapped you are some really dangerous organized band with interest of kidnapping someone else. A kid, for example. For all we know, they could’ve hurt a lot of people by now.” She reasoned.

“Point is, this is as long as we can wait. They could’ve run to another country by now, where we don’t even have jurisdiction. This is not just about you, is about everyone who’s in danger every minute those guys aren’t arrested.” Detective Weight added.

“And our bosses are pressuring the whole investigation. People above want this over with. So we can’t really give you another option.” Detective Fleischmann concluded firmly.

Ashlyn looked down for a moment and Ali squeezed her hand softly. After a deep breath, Ashlyn nodded.

“Alright. I will tell you all I know now, but under my conditions or if not you can start arresting me now, because prison isn’t going to be worse than what I’ve lived for a year already.” Ashlyn said firmly and the detectives nodded “I’ll speak here, I’ll speak with my lawyer present so dad if you could call him…” she added looking at her dad, who nodded pulling out his cell phone and going out of the room “and I’ll speak with these people here. I don’t want to have to talk about this more than now, so that’s what I want.”

“That’s fine with us, Ms. Harris, thank you.” Detective Fleischmann smiled kindly.

Twenty minutes later Alec Hanson, Ashlyn’s lawyer, was there and they all sit comfortably to listen to what promised not to be a very short story, given the fact that it had been over a year of kidnapping.

“I guess I should’ve start from the beginning” Ashlyn said calmly taking a sip of water “I had gone to the gardens of the hotel to enjoy the sun a little, I’m from Florida so I can’t go without the sun. I had started doing some exercise when Ali Krieger came and we talked for a while until she left” Ashlyn explained. Ali was relieved to see she didn’t mention what exactly happened or why did she leave “She was the last person I saw but she had nothing to do with this. I was going to go somewhere else right after Ali left, but before I could step forward, I felt someone grab me from behind, I hadn’t even heard them coming, and I felt a pinch in my neck and all went black. I guess they injected me something that knocked me out.”

» “When I woke up I didn’t know how long had it been or where I was, and all I could see was black so at first, I thought I was blind. Then I realized I was just in a really dark place, really cold, with no windows or lights. I felt for the walls and I realized I was in a tiny room, like no bigger than a toilet room, in fact it could’ve been that because it had one WC. I felt a sliding door but there was no way I could open it. It was like a cement room, hard, smooth, cold.”

» “I don’t know for how long I was there but it seemed eternal. I yelled, I asked for help, everything, but no one could hear me and I heard no one. I couldn’t hear a thing and I couldn’t even see the palms of my hands in front of me, the only reason I knew I wasn’t blind is because I could see shadows or different shades of black and I knew I wasn’t deaf because I heard my footsteps and my own yelling. After what to me seemed like forever, I heard the door slide open and I was grabbed by a couple strong people. I didn’t resist because I could notice how they knew the place so good they could move without a light, while if I fought back I’d run and collide against a wall full force in seconds. So I let them take me down some stairs and then we were at a gray corridor with pale lighting, like a garage. I saw there were two masked persons grabbing each of my arms and pulling from me.”

Ali and Whitney exchanged a look of concern, but Ashlyn sighed and went on after a small pause. She was fidgeting with her fingers nervously and avoided looking at anyone.

“I asked them what was happening, why I was kidnapped, but they acted as if they weren’t even listening to me and I knew better than to get aggressive. Finally they lead me into another room that had a bench with a shirt and pants folded there, dry and clean, pretty elegant and pretty much my style and they told me to change into them, so I put them over what I was wearing since I was close to nude when they kidnapped me and it felt great to be decently dressed.” She breathed deeply “Next, they took me into what seemed like a huge luxurious apartment, but it was all fake, like in TV sets. The amazing views you could see from the windows were just photographs glued to the walls, the glass windows over them were plastic windows, the walls, however, were brick tough. They got me in there and left, just like that. I tried forcing the door, but it was armored. I explored the place up and down, it looked like a normal apartment without clocks, tv, radio, papers or pens, without calendars and with no way of getting out. It was ready for someone to live there and in fact, I lived there for a whole year. It didn’t have gas or any way to make fire, even the machines to keep the water warm were somewhere else, so every day warm food was left by one of the masked persons, one dish daily and then some snacks to last a few days, but I still was starving most of the time, I guess they thought if I was weak I wouldn’t oppose a resistance. Plus, the apartment was filled with cameras everywhere.”

“Ms. Harris” Detective Weight started “how did you get out of there then?” Ashlyn sighed.

“I was losing my mind in there, so I finally decided to oppose a resistance. I had no idea how long had I been there and I was pretty sure if I managed to get out of the apartment I would still be lost in the maze of corridors that was out of it, many without a single light like the first room I was at, and I would end up being killed, but I guess once I realized I was never going to be let out of there it was better die than stay there.” Her voice trembled a little “Anyway, I planned something out and the next time someone came to leave food I put my flip flops inside my shirt to fight better and attacked them. I was weak and I wasn’t much fight, but I guess ability was more than strength and we had some boxing training with the USWNT. So they ended up unconscious on the floor and alarms were sounding everywhere, alerts. So I ran like I’ve never ran in my life, and that’s saying a lot for a soccer player.”

“What happened then?” Ali managed to ask seeing Ashlyn was hesitant. Ashlyn sighed.

“I got into the maze and I don’t know how but after what seemed like forever I found some stairs and I climbed them. I could only hear two sets of steps after me but I guess it was more the feeling that I was going to die in any second that made me feel so in danger I got so much adrenaline to really not feel the exhaustion. I climbed the steps two at a time and then I thought it was at a dead end until I saw a trap door on the ceiling and I heard rain outside. I got out and for the first time in a year, I felt the rain. I was in the middle of a storm.” Ashlyn’s eyes were teary with emotion as a slight smile appeared in her face “After the initial shock, I ran barefoot through the mud, scrub, bushes filled with thorns, between trees… it was a freaking forest. At some point I reached a farm and there was a map there on a glass wall. I was somewhere in West Virginia. Then I saw a bicycle of the farmers so I stole it and I knew where the road to DC was because of the map and I knew people in DC like Ali’s dad so I decided to go there. The farmers hadn’t seen me because the storm was thick and they were safe inside. It wasn’t easy as hell and I didn’t eat I don’t know for how many days. I didn’t trust cities or towns where I knew no one because I was paranoid thinking my captors had people there and that’s why they hadn’t followed me. My plan was to find Ken Krieger and only him. People avoided me anyway thinking I was some homeless.” Ashlyn sighed and looking defeated “Of course I was getting exhausted and the sun didn’t help either. I hadn’t done much exercise in over a year either, locked in there like a shark in a cage. So it took its toll on me and I was ready to give up when I was not so far away from DC and then I heard the USWNT was going to be there and I knew they’d recognize me, that if I could manage to get there it wasn’t just Ken anymore, everyone would be there. I had heard about the Olympics and the World Cup by then so I knew where the focus of attention would be and my hopes went up so I collected the little strength I had left and got there. I don’t remember much more… I know I went to the normal hotel where we used to stay where we went there with the team… and it was night time then. I was trying to get into the hotel but I looked like crap so I knew no one would let me in, which lead me to try and sneak in during the night into the garden. The only protection were some high bars forming a fence but I was so skinny I got between them easily and right then I saw this big bag of sand and I thought I could spend there the night and in the morning the gardener would find me and call for help. That’s the last I remember.”

Ashlyn shut up and her friends or, better said, family, exchanged looks of consternation. The detectives paused the recording machine as they wrote some things down before turning it on again. Ashlyn looked deep in thought and slightly distraught.

“Alright, thank you” Detective Weight nodded in appreciation “but Ms. Harris, there’re still too many empty holes in your story. Those people held you in just to have you there like a fish? That was all? And also, what did you mean with they not liking you do sports?” Ashlyn sighed and rubbed her arm nervously.

“I’ve got a concussion and I’m tired, can’t we continue another day? I gave you enough for you to know where to search and charges to press.” Ashlyn reasoned.

“Yes” her lawyer, Alec Hanson, shifted in his chair and looked at the police “my client is still deeply injured, she needs her rest.”

“We understand” Detective Fleischmann nodded turning the recording machine off again “and if this had happened earlier, we wouldn’t mind to come another day but by now too many days have passed and as we explained earlier to your client, we can’t afford to lose more time. The kidnappers have probably left the building, we have nothing to identify them, not even genders, and West Virginia is huge to start looking for a tramp in the middle of a forest. Plus she stole a bike and I’m sure the farmers have already reported it to the police.” She sighed “There are too many holes to cover, as my partner pointed out… and Ashlyn…” the Detective added informally, looking concerned at Ashlyn and reached a hand to pat hers lightly “I can see you’re hiding stuff. I don’t know if it’s because you’re worried for something or if you are trying to protect them…”

“No!” Ashlyn shook her head “I promise, I’m not covering anyone up.”

“And I believe you” Detective Fleischmann smiled a bit sympathetically “so don’t be afraid to speak up. Listen” she sighed concerned “I have seen your medical record. I know more than you thought and so do your parents” Ashlyn’s eyes widened “I don’t ask you as a cop, okay? As a fellow woman. As someone who has seen this shit happen before and who can’t wait for the assholes who did this to bite the dust. I’ve seen people get away for this stuff because the victims weren’t capable of speaking up enough, people get away with rape, with murder, with kidnapping… and they will do this again Ashlyn, unless you stop it. I know is hard, I’ve seen it and I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I do know for sure it sucks and I want them to spend their life in prison and make sure they never get to hurt you or anyone else ever again. I want you to have some revenge in this, the little feeling of win you’re going to get. So the more charges we can press against them, the worse their future is going to look. Don’t do this for me. Or for our bosses, or for future victims… do it for you. So you can look them in the eye in that jury when they get a life or a death sentence and you can say ‘fuck you’.”

Ashlyn’s parents looked tearfully at each other, fully knowing and hiding what Ashlyn’s medical record had revealed, and they held hands. The rest looked concerned between them and Ashlyn, wondering what was up, while Ashlyn bit her lip and breathed deeply before sighing loudly. Her eyes were teary as she nodded.

“Alright… but this part of the story is going to be hard as fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your support is very thoroughly appreciated, even more every comment!!!


	4. The heartache behind the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn finally comes clean to her people

A new round of glasses of water was passed around the room as the skies started to darken and the atmosphere inside the hospital bedroom started to shift towards sadder and darker places. Ashlyn took a few minutes to muster up the strength for a last push before she could be left alone to rest and never have to speak about this again until the trial, hopefully a few months away.

“I think the place where I was, was managed by two or three people, at least one woman and one man. I never saw the man’s face or anything I could use to identify him, but he was the one I beat up to get out of there and judging by how he felt like, he was as tall as me, muscled up, wide back, big hands and big feet, and he has at least a broken nose.” Ashlyn explained and the detectives nodded in appreciation “The other one was a young woman and she always wore an eye mask, but I saw the rest well. She was between twenty and thirty little, smooth, hydrated, soft and hairless white skin, she was a head shorter than me, skinny but fit, had short nails always perfectly manicured, small, long feet with perfectly manicured toes, and she smelt like vanilla pretty strongly. Her dark hair was always pull in a very neat, fancy bum, she had small but ample breasts and she always wore make-up. She was pretty snobbish, to be honest. She was very fit and had a start of abs and a high-pitched voice, and a tattoo of a nymph on her left ass cheek.”

Ali frowned looking at who had been her ex girlfriend, who looked down in embarrassment.

“How do you…?” Ali started to ask, but she shut up and gulped, filling with anger and deep sadness when she saw Ashlyn look up to her, her eyes filled with pain in a way that made Ali’s heart wrench “No… no…” Ashlyn nodded and sighed, passing her hands through her face and sighing.

“She asked me to call her Mistress always and I got slapped and yelled at if I ever disobeyed her at anything, including with the sports. She hated that I paid attention to anything but her when she entered the room, so I couldn’t do sports. Once she was in the apartment, she was the center of the world.” Ashlyn explained calmly “Despite that, she was a big fan of me, an obsessed one. She knew everything, even stuff I don’t recall to have ever made public. Her obsession reached a mental point in which she wanted to keep me hostage and get to live with me the life she dreamt we could have, hoping that with time I’d want her too. She was always criticizing any of my exes, men and women, she talked obsessively and possessively about me, and she was always talking about our love, how good of a couple we made, etc. The first time I saw her was pretty shortly after I got to the apartment. She…” she breathed deeply and blurted out “she raped me.” Ignoring the gasps in the room, she went forward, her face angry and her eyes wet “I saw her put my…” she cleared her throat in embarrassment looking down, her fists clenching “my stuff in a pan after intercourse. I demanded to know what was going on but well, she liked heavy BDSM and to be dominant so I was never lose her. It happened very frequently, probably every three or four hours, for weeks or so. At some point, she stopped collecting my stuff. It was like being on a TV show or in The Sims. I had to learn the right things to say or what she wanted - massages, back rubs, eating in bed… like if we were a true couple. She liked to eternally play pretend and act as if I was her wife. She gave me a fake ring and she would talk to me like if she was my wife. Tell me what I had to wear, do, behave like… at one point we spent the whole time together except the few hours per day she’d leave ‘to work’. She’d tell me work and life stories I bet were fake. News that were probably fake too. It was a nightmare.” Ashlyn sighed.

“So intercourse was frequent” Detective Weight confirmed.

“Yes.”

“And you let it clear every time that you didn’t consent?” Detective Weight added.

“At first, I complained thoroughly. I’d tell her I didn’t want her, I’d never want her, that I hated her, that she should die. I’d tell her to let me out, that I didn’t want to be there. I’d yell. But the punishments were tough enough for me to learn quickly and shut up.” Ashlyn explained.

“What…” Detective Weight cleared his mouth, frowning in horror “what were the punishments?” Ashlyn breathed deeply leaning back and closing her eyes as a silent tear made its way down her purple cheek, now visible since they had recently removed the eye bandages.

“Whip. Insults. Punching, slapping, anal… all kinds of shit. And she had a bunch of toys to make things funnier. She had tons of fun laughing of me telling me everyone had stopped looking for me. She was in what she called ‘at work’ when I got out.” She said with a shaky voice. Ali grabbed her non injured hand firmly between hers and kissed her on the cheek. Ashlyn’s mother cried silently between Mike’s arms and Chris stood with his fists clenched in anger, their friend Jamie Tworkowski rubbing his back to try and keep him calmed down.

“I see” Detective Fleischmann nodded blinking tears away and cleared her throat “thank you Ms. Harris, we have enough. We’ll leave you to rest now.”

“Wait!” Ashlyn seemed agitated and she threw her hands, one of them bandaged to her forearm, to grab one of the detective “There’s someone I need you to look for and protect with your life. Please.” She said tearfully “I was trying to protect her but… I think you’re good. I think you could keep her safe.” Detective Fleischmann nodded and sat on the verge of the bed, holding her hands.

“Absolutely, anything I can do for you, I will. I promise.” More tears fell through Ashlyn’s eyes and she looked more and more distraught by the second. She was paler and it accentuated the now almost healed cuts on her face and arms.

“She got pregnant and I think… I think it’s mine.” Ashlyn ignored the gasps “I think that’s what she wanted my thingy for. She had a baby two months ago, little Charlotte. I was forced to take care of her but I always suspected she was mine and I loved her, I took the best care of her I could and always tried to protect her, keep her safe.” She said through the tears as she let her cries go “My Charlotte… I took her with me and I gave her all the food I could get my hands on. I protected her and kept her warm with my body, I stole from the farms of West Virginia for her and I kept her inside my shirt and jacket tucked in like a kangaroo’s bag while I took the bike.” She sobbed “Mistress didn’t treat her properly, so I was always standing up for her, trying to feed her when she wouldn’t because she didn’t want anything ruining her breasts but she wanted the dream family, so that’s why she had her. She would always complain how she ruined her body and stuff. Charlotte… I think she was sick. Underweight, weak… something was wrong with her. At one point during our escape I realized she needed hospital attention so I left her at a church were some nuns took her in and promised me they’d take care of her. It was a small church in Maryland, in Brunswick. You have to find her and make sure she’s safe.” Ashlyn sobbed with abandon, clenching onto the Detective despite how much her ribs were probably hurting “Please, she’s my daughter. Save my daughter.” She cried.

“Okay.” The Detective affectionately helped Ashlyn back against the pillows and smiled affectionately “Don’t worry. Alex please, call Brunswick police right now.” She indicated “Ashlyn, can you describe her? Maybe you have a picture?”

“No…” Ashlyn breathed deeply to calm down “but I made a drawing of her the other day while my brother was in the shower.” Ashlyn pulled a paper from the drawer of the nightstand and gave it to her with shaky hands. It was a perfect and quite beautiful drawing of a little baby “She’s very tiny, like this big…” she gesticulated “and she looks a lot like me. She has short dark curly hair and the most beautiful smile and big dark eyes with puffy cheeks…”

“Alright” Detective Fleischmann carefully slid the drawing into her pocket as Alex Weight spoke to the police “I give you my word we will find her. Mrs. Harris” she added looking at Ashlyn’s parents “maybe you have a picture of your daughter as a baby? It could maybe help us identify Charlotte.”

* * *

 

Detective Fleischmann came back that morning to tell Ashlyn Charlotte had been found at a small hospital in Brunswick and, due to her really serious prognosis, moved to Ashlyn’s hospital, which was better. Ashlyn got to identify and held her until the baby died in her arms a few hours later.

The USWNT didn’t have more matches until the end of October, so after Ashlyn was released from the hospital, non-talkative and sinking deep in depression, with a long list of medication to keep her afloat, they focused on her as much as possible and, those who could, moved to Satellite Beach, Florida, where Ashlyn stayed in the house of her parents. Charlotte was also buried there and after that Ashlyn stayed in the beach most of the time, refusing to talk with no one other than the therapist she was pretty much forced to see -although most of the time that’s all she did, staring at him- and drinking as much beer as she could hold without feeling like throwing up.

* * *

 

Ashlyn sat on her surf board, floating in the ocean with her feet immersed on the water, her eyes fixed on the sun that was starting to hide into the ocean, her eyes watery and her face, that was skin and bones and half of it was still slightly bruised, looked sad and hopeless as her paleness accentuated the slight line in her hairline where she had taken a hit. She sighed deeply and winced as that hurt her ribs a little. She had another couple weeks before they were fully healed, a month had passed since she woke up in the hospital but she still felt like if she was still trapped.

“Ashlyn!” Ashlyn didn’t hear it at first, but then she started noticing the yelling and she turned around. Ali, Tobin and Kelley were up to their knees in the water by the coast, calling for her. She just stared questioningly.

“Dinner’s ready!” Ali yelled. They looked worried and Ashlyn nodded, sighing.

Ashlyn let herself fall off the board, hitting the sand with her feet, and walked in the ocean to the coast while pushing the floating board. She would usually lie on the board face down and swim, but now her ribs didn’t allow it. When she got out of the water, Ali wrapped her up in a big sharks towel tightly and kissed her salty forehead.

“How was the water?” Tobin asked. Ashlyn shrugged and sighed. She rarely spoke a word these days, but that didn’t stop her friends from trying.

She let herself fall on a chair and ate with abandon surrounded by their big amount of guests before getting up and going to her bedroom without a word. After a couple minutes, Ali followed her and found her sitting on her bed with a photo of Charlotte between her hands. When she got to the hospital, everyone was quick to take pictures and videos of her and Grandpa Mike had everything saved up properly at the house.

“Can I come in?” Ali asked. Ashlyn nodded, putting the picture on the night stand and supporting her back on the pillows against the headboard. She looked down at her hands and Ali sat next to her against the headboard, leaning to press her lips against her shoulder “You have to get over this Ash…” Ali whispered with precaution.

“How, Ali?” Ashlyn sighed “I’ve always wanted to be a mother, I see Syd with Cash and Amy with Luke and Heather with the girls, my cousin and Jenson… everyone. And mine is three feet under the ground after only two months. Two months filled with cruelty and negligence and nine inside the body of a monster. How can I ever move on from that?” Ashlyn’s voice sounded defeated, as if she had accepted that this was her new misery.

“She’s what made you decide to get out at all costs, isn’t she?” Ali asked softly, and Ashlyn nodded.

“I got out for her and without her I don’t want to be here. I don’t even want to live.” Ashlyn sobbed “She was all my reasons. When I found out the Mistress was pregnant, knowing that baby would be there with me gave me the strength to go on this whole year. Holding her in my arms for the first time. Feeling her under Mistress’ skin.” She continued sobbing. Ali sat in front of her putting her legs on her sides and leant pressing her lips against Ashlyn’s forehead and caressing her cheeks. She held her until she stopped crying.

“Ash, is going to be okay, I promise you. I don’t know how but it will. Remember when your mother died a couple years ago and you were so shattered?” Ashlyn nodded “But you pulled through, you always do. I may have the last name warrior, but you’re a shark Ash.” Ali said softly and affectionately, holding her face between her hands and smiling a little “You’re always going to love her and think of her, she’s always going to hurt… but Ash, you were the sun in her life. You were the best she had. And she died in your arms, surrounded by the love of a real mother and you should feel proud of that. You’ve been an amazing mother sweetheart and yes, it didn’t end well… but she will always be alive in your heart. And she’d want you to be okay and move on, for her. She’s free now and she’d want you to be free too because she loved you every second of her life, even from the womb.”

Ashlyn nodded and stayed in silence for a while, letting Ali comfort her. Ali had always known what to do.

“I got a little something the other day, for her…” Ashlyn lifted up her t-shirt and next to the owl and Ali’s face tattooed on her right arm, there was the perfect tattoo of a baby hand and inside, in tiny handwriting ‘C.A.H’. Ali felt her eyes water as her fingers ghosted over the skin, and then turned to fix her eyes on Ashlyn’s teary ones “When I did the paperwork to make it legal that she was only mine before her death, they let me change her name. So I named her Charlotte, because she was already used to it and she liked it… Charlotte Alexandra Harris. I felt if she was going to die she needed a warrior name for whatever comes after, where… where I can’t protect her.” Ali gulped a sob and hugged her softly as to not hurt her.

“Sweetheart, she’s safe. I promise you where she is, no one will ever hurt her and your grandma will take care of her. I love you both so much Ash… you… and Charlotte.” Ashlyn sniffled against her shoulder.

“Is it true?” Ashlyn asked pulling back “That you all gave up on me?” She looked so hurt at Ali that she lost her breath for a second, staring at her in the dark room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your great support so far. I'm at bliss!!! Please keep letting comments and reviews. Also, my other Krashlyn story here needs 5 more comments for its next episode to be released, if you want to check it out it's called "Our next great adventure" and has 34 chapters in total!


	5. Weight over the shoulders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of drama for you guys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry for the long time without an update. To be honest with you, I only have seven chapters written of this story because life got busy when I was in the middle of writing chapter eight and I never finished it and kind of forgot about Krashlyn fanfiction. However, I'm not discarding the possibility of continuing to write this story so here's another chapter for you guys!
> 
> BIG SORRY

“No!” Ali hurried to answer “sweetie, we never gave up on you… yes, I had doubts sometimes and I wanted to… to move on. I wanted to believe police was right when they presumed you were dead and I wanted to move on but that was only because I thought you’d want that. I was trying to convince my heart and there I never gave up on you. We continued looking for you and asking people to keep an eye out for you on the social media even after police called it quits.”

Ashlyn seemed to relax a little and nodded. Ali saw she looked tired and helped her get comfortable in bed, snuggling beside her.

“Alex” Ashlyn whispered in the dark after a while.

“Yeah” Ali moved to stroke her belly softly over her t-shirt.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you all year” the short haired woman whispered “I’m so proud of you. I saw videos about your games, you were amazing.”

“Yeah?” Ali smiled “Thanks… you know, that reminds me… we got something for you at the World Cup and at the Olympics. Wait…”

Ali exited the room for a few minutes and came back with a tiny box. She sat on the verge of the bed next to Ashlyn, turning the lamp of the night stand on. Ashlyn sat up looking intrigued.

“When we won the World Cup last year, we were devastated because we knew you were supposed to be there. We wouldn’t have gotten to the finals without you, you made ten stops at the semifinal with Sweden. So we made a petition to have a medal made for you too, as an honorary thing… we told them your family deserved it as a recognition for what their daughter had done for women’s sports.” Ali opened the box and Ashlyn’s eyes widened and got teary with emotion as Ali hung the golden medal over her shoulder. Ali grinned looking at her “That’s how it should be. And… when we got to the Olympics… well it was the first anniversary and I don’t know, somehow we got another play.” Ali put another golden medal out of the box and over Ashlyn’s shoulders. Ashlyn gulped a sob.

“Alex…” Ashlyn whispered staring at the medals “Alex… I…” Ali chuckled rubbing her own eyes.

“You deserve it.” Ali said with a broken voice “We owe them to you.” Ashlyn shook her head with a chuckle and grabbed Ali’s face between her hands before she kissed her straight on the lips. Ali accepted the kiss and shortly after they pulled apart.

“I’m sorry…” Ashlyn sighed “I got excited.”

“Yeah.” Ali nodded, trying to pretend she was okay with it “No problem. Goodnight Ash.” Ali smiled at her and left to go to her own bed at the guests room.

The next day, Ashlyn got up early waken up by her nightmares like usual and after a failure of a therapy session, she and Ali went on a walk around the beach. Ashlyn was frustrated. She had so many feelings inside and barely had time to decipher the kind of lovely energy she got when Ali was close, while she was also brokenhearted for Charlotte and couldn’t stay in her house because she got claustrophobic. To her, everything wrong happened inside.

Ali walked beside her concerned about her friend but deciding to give her some space.

“So…” Ali elbowed her lightly to get her attention “is your therapist one of those weirdoes who have a big fish tank in the consult?” she asked playfully to lighten the mood, which worked because Ashlyn chuckled, even though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“No” Ashlyn answered “he has the classic divan though.” Ali smiled lightly.

“Did you guys talk about that terrible The Simpsons episode from yesterday? It was so boring, I’d be traumatized if I hadn’t escaped it.” Ali commented jokingly. Ashlyn’s side of the mouth curved upwards lightly.

“We talked about you actually.” Ali was surprised and raised her eyebrows looking at her as they walked “I couldn’t talk… you know, about the hard stuff. But you’re not so difficult.”

“I’m glad not to be” Ali motioned for them to sit on the sand looking at the ocean and stared at Ashlyn, whose eyes were lost in the blue horizon “what did you have to say about me?” Ashlyn looked nervous and bit her lip.

“That…” Ashlyn gulped “that in all this darkness that I feel myself in… you’re light. You enlighten things up.” Ali smiled tearfully and hugged her friend “Listen Alex” Ashlyn sighed as they pulled apart and Ali looked questioningly “you kissed me. Before you left, you kissed me. You have no idea how much that memory has been in my head, keeping me alive for a whole year… but you ran away! Didn’t… didn’t you…?”

Ali bit her lip in worry.

“I love you Ash” Ali breathed out, and Ashlyn looked at her dead serious as if to waiting for the ‘as friends’ “I love you with all of me and this year has been the worst of my life not knowing how or where you were, not being able to sleep entire nights crying in anger for not letting you spend another night far away from home” Ashlyn’s eyes widened “I ran away because I got scared of losing you. I got scared our relationship would change our work relationship for bad like it did the first time, that again we wouldn’t be able to separate professional from private… and I ran away. You have no idea how hard I’ve regretted that.” Ali caressed her cheeks with her hands, their foreheads pressed together “I want you. I want all of you and I can’t be without you again, I know no one is ever going to fill me and make me as happy as you do. I’m so sorry I’ve been so stupid all this time.”

“Don’t talk that way about you.” Ashlyn whispered before leaning to kiss her softly on the lips. They made out slowly and lightly for a while until Ashlyn pulled apart just enough to support her forehead on Ali’s “I’m sorry… I don’t think I can do a relationship now Ali. I love you, you know that, it’s just… too much’s going on. I don’t know what to do.”

Ali ran her hands through her back soothingly.

“Don’t worry, I understand.” Ali smiled a little “What do you think if we keep this as a slow, light thing? We have our space, we make things easy for you, we make sure you have anything you need to get better, and I kiss you sometimes?” Ashlyn chuckled and Ali was joyous to see her chuckle honestly.

“That sounds like something I can do.”

They lied down on the sand with a hand intertwined with each other, staring at the clouds.

“I didn’t see the sky for a whole year.” Ashlyn whispered then. Ali squeezed her hand lightly and then turned to look at her.

“Ash… I just remembered, before you were taken, you had that episode with that creepy guy and God, I can’t believe I brushed it off…”

“It’s fine Alex” Ashlyn looked at her smiling slightly “he had nothing to do with this. Not that I know at least. I’ve thought so much about it and I’m certain that dude was definitely a man, while this was a woman.” Ali nodded and sighed rubbing the back of Ashlyn’s thin hand with her thumb.

“When are you going back to the social networks?” Ali asked, changing subject “your family issued a statement asking for privacy in these times… you know, the typical.” Ashlyn nodded slightly.

“I have all this press who want to interview me” Ashlyn said “these TV Shows. Ellen… Chris gave me my phone but I just had to turn it off because people… people had left calls. Texts. During a whole year. Telling me they missed me and stuff… things that are hard to read now. And now I have it full of ‘how are you’ and the social networks are exploding with notifications that I’m too shitted to see.”

“One day at a time Harris” they looked up and saw Kyle Krieger grinning big in front of them. Ashlyn smiled a little.

“Hey man! What’re you doing here?” Ashlyn asked as the three sat up on plastic chairs Kyle had brought. Kyle had arrived the day before to Orlando from visiting his mother in Miami.

“Well, I was bored and Chris said you guys were here.” Kyle answered. Ashlyn grimaced a little holding her ribs in place as she got comfortable in the chair “What were you guys talking about?” he asked accepting Ali’s feet on his lap and massaging them. Ali chuckled at her brother.

“We were just talking about Ashlyn’s networks. Apparently social media is exploding.” Ali looked at Ashlyn understandingly.

“Well, maybe we could post a picture together” Kyle offered “I could post it in my Instagram without saying anything special just to show you’re in one piece, and they’d bother you less, so you’ll have time to think what you’re going to say to the public.”

“It’s one idea.” Ali stroke Ashlyn’s thigh softly. Ashlyn closed her eyes relaxing on the chair, that allowed her ribs to feel better.

“Yeah” Ashlyn opened her eyes “yeah, let’s do that. Plus, we haven’t got pictures together ever since last year.” Ashlyn was trying to act around more like herself a little, to make an effort, even if it was just for a couple hours, to seem normal. She feared her friends would abandon her if she didn’t.

Kyle grinned pulling out her phone and Ali fixed Ashlyn’s short hair a little before the three posed and took a picture of the three. Kyle and Ali’s smiles were clearly realer than Ashlyn, who only smiled happy to be home and with her second brother and Ali. Her smile still didn’t quite reach her eyes, but it was a start. Kyle approved the pic and posted it on his IG account: ‘Happy to be with my favorite queens at one of our favorite places! #SharkIsBack”.

“So” Kyle said shoving his phone back into his pocket “still no news of that bitch.” He commented.

“They won’t find her” Ashlyn whispered. Ali frowned confused.

“Don’t be so negative Ash…” Ali said squeezing her arm affectionately.

“It’s not being negative…” Ashlyn sighed “she built that whole thing under earth. You saw the pictures from the police, that place was huge, I bet she has other places to hide well.”

“But you gave them a very good description of her” Kyle tried to stay positive “they have to find her.” Ashlyn looked thoughtfully at the ocean before shaking her head slowly.

“She’ll be back” Ashlyn said then “she’s obsessed with me and angry I left like that. She’s not going to forget about me easily.”

“Then we’ll be ready when she’s back” Ali assured “she’s never touching you again.”

“Don’t promise things you don’t know if you can fulfill.” Ashlyn snapped. Ali and Kyle exchanged a concerned look “I remind you that she got her hands on me in a freaking high security place that was supposed to be specially protected for us during the World Cup, it was all police. Nothing’s going to stop her and I am not running away. If she wants a fight, I’ll give it to her. For Charlotte.” Ashlyn said angrily, her eyes fixed on the waves she dreamt of helping Charlotte surf.

Ali and Kyle seemed to have a conversation with the eyes for one moment and then Ali reached to hold one of Ashlyn’s hands between her own. Kyle breathed deeply and let a hand fall on Ashlyn’s knee.

“Hey” Kyle tried to call her attention and Ashlyn reluctantly looked at him. When she did, Kyle saw so much anger and sadness in them it broke his heart “everything is going to be okay, this time we’re ready. She won’t hurt anyone else, this time we know who we’re looking for okay? And you have to be you and not let her change you into some shadow of who you were who only cares about fighting and revenge. She already stole enough from you, don’t let her steal anything else. Don’t give her more power Ash.” His voice was calm and full of worry and love in a way that reached Ashlyn deeply.

The short haired brunette felt overwhelmed and looked down thoughtfully for a moment, reflecting about his words before nodding slowly and then in a matter of seconds, she was breaking down in tears.

“I just want her back! I just miss my baby!” Ashlyn cried out as Kyle and Ali contemplated her saddened for their friend, feeling her pain touching them inside. Kyle, who was in front of Ashlyn, reached forward and carefully wrapped her between is strong, muscled up arms. Ali moved to sit beside her better and made patterns on Ashlyn’s back with a hand as she looked at the woman she loved the most in the world full of sadness and desire to kill whoever hurt her and Charlotte so badly. Ashlyn had such a broken expression, clinging into Kyle ignoring the intense pain her ribs were probably putting her through, with a waterproof bandage around her wrist and ankle, and slight bruising still present around her left eye and cheekbone. She was crying heavily, her eyes shut in agony as tears fell freely making Kyle’s shirt damp with tears and snot “If she had just… she could’ve just feed her… cared for that poor child a little… and my baby girl would be alive… I couldn’t… why couldn’t I… she’d be alive… she’d be alive…” Ashlyn said between heavy sobs. A silent tear fell from Ali’s eye and saw Kyle had his eyes shut close probably trying to keep himself together too, just letting a deep breath out and squeezing Ashlyn tighter. Ali let a sad deep sigh escape her lips and supported her forehead on Ashlyn’s scalp, an arm falling around Ashlyn’s waist.


	6. You gotta feel what you gotta feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some PTSD problems

As Ashlyn’s birthday approached, she tried to be more of a decent company to her people. Kyle’s words had really weighted inside of her and she wasn’t willing to let that bitch steal what made her herself, her soul, anymore than what had already been done. She started by staying in the house a little bit more, even if she got claustrophobic every ten minutes and had to spend twenty sitting on the porch to calm herself down. She devoted to the outside tasks such as gardening, with the help of little Jenson, her cousin’s Corey’s toddler, she cleaned the porch, the cars, the garage -with all doors wide open- and found out keeping herself busy helped some and she also felt better at knowing she was being useful and not a weight for her family like she had been feeling. Of course with her injuries she had to take it easy and there were some things she couldn’t do, but there was plenty of people in her house to help her and she held tight on the stuff she had learnt -a big part of it from her friend Jamie Tworkowski- before being kidnapped, about depression.

“Happy birthday beautiful” Ali whispered sleepily as she felt Ashlyn’s hair under her chin as the younger woman snuggled further into her. Ever since that little love confession at the beach, Ashlyn would sometimes sneak into Ali’s bed during the night when she had a nightmare, to feel better and be able to go back to sleep. Sometimes she’d wake up a bit later feeling anxious about feeling another woman in bed, and go back to her own, but for the biggest part she allowed Ali’s company the minute she noticed her unique scent. Ali wasn’t a big fan of snuggling, but with Ashlyn it was differently and she actually craved it. Plus, after what had happened, Ashlyn got anxious with physical contact with very few exceptions, so it was an honor to be one of them at least in bed.

“Thanks.” Ashlyn murmured hoarsely, her nostrils finding comfort in the smell coming from Ali’s neck, pressed against her face.

As they knew Ashlyn wasn’t in the mood for celebrations but also that she wanted to do something because, after all, that bitch had already stolen one birthday from her, they prepared a calm lunch in which Ashlyn’s mom made her favorite lunch and then at dinner Ashlyn’s friends came and they all had dinner in Ashlyn’s favorite place of Satellite, out in the garden. They had made reservations so they’d be alone in that garden, so no fans would bother Ashlyn.

“This is for you.” Ali smiled moving a very nicely decorated box to Ashlyn.

“Thank you Alex.” Ashlyn said with a small, but honest smile and her eyes somewhat sparkly, as she opened her box. Inside, there was a nice watch Ashlyn remembered having wanted the year before, a new hat that was surely so expensive and that Ashlyn put on right away, looking very good in it, a sharks t-shirt, a new skateboard and a collection of DVD’s for the shark week of that year, that Ashlyn had missed because of being kidnapped. Ashlyn’s smile widened “Alex! This is too much!” Ali laughed and shook her head.

“Well happy thirty and thirty one birthday.” Ali whispered holding her face lovingly and pressing her lips against her healthy cheek softly. Ashlyn felt herself get emotional and hugged Ali as tightly as her ribs allowed.

“You being here is already an amazing birthday present, much more valuable than all of these gifts.” Ashlyn whispered against her ear. Ali smiled and hid her face against her neck. That was one spot she had thoroughly missed.

The rest of the birthday went somewhat smooth and soon Ashlyn was back in her bed, putting her body in the most comfortable position that wouldn’t drive her back crazy. She held the drawing she had made of little Charlotte between her hands, the closest thing she had to a picture, and she kissed the drawing softly.

“Goodnight, my love.” Ashlyn whispered before pressing the drawing against her chest and falling asleep.

A few days later, the USWNT had a match away so they had to go, which made Ashlyn decide it was time for her to go back to Orlando. It took some convincing to her family, but she finally found herself in her own Orlando house that she had been sharing with Ali before she got kidnapped. No one was happy with her being there alone, but Ashlyn told them she needed to enjoy some freedom and that her kidnapper wouldn’t come to her territory, since the police was especially vigilant in that zone.

“Home sweet home” Ashlyn murmured stepping into the home she had missed so much. It smelled like Ali and she started noticing things that were different than how she left them. Ali’s shoes scattered around the entry left in a hurry, new pictures of them together around the surfaces, Ashlyn’s bed had new sheets and looked perfectly done as if Ali had been sleeping there. Ashlyn realized even if her things had been visibly hidden away, they were still in the house, her clothes were still in her closet, her shoes were all in a box labeled ‘Ash’s shoes’ under her bed, her bathroom products were all in the cabinet in her en suite bathroom, neatly organized but otherwise untouched. It was as if Ali had tried not to have the constant reminder of what was missing in the house but still had craved her company.

Ashlyn decided to go buy groceries to a small place where she knew she wouldn’t be recognized and made sure to buy plenty of alcohol. Before midnight came, she was already deep drunk and passed out in her sofa. She woke up a few hours later, when the sun was barely coming up, and even though she still felt like crap from the amount of alcohol, she decided to move.

“Go to hell, Mistress” she grumbled, slumping into the garden and sitting on the grass to watch the sun salute America. Her short hair was messy and there were dark bags under her eyes. She looked at the stars that were still visible and her eyes watered still finding it hard to believe that they were so beautiful, after not having seen them in a whole year. How many times had she dreamt how they looked like? “take care of her, grandma” she whispered into the darkness “please, take care of my baby girl until I can hold her again.”

The next day, she received the surprising visit of Detective Fleischmann at her house, fortunately after noon so she looked more presentable, as she always tried to hide it all the best she could with make up in case family or friends came by surprise.

“Ashlyn! It’s so great to see you.” Detective Fleischmann grinned at her “How are those ribs doing?” Ashlyn curved her lips into a tiny smile as she followed her into the house.

“They’re doing better” Ashlyn answered “what do I owe this nice surprise to?”

“Well” Detective Fleischmann left a carton box on the kitchen counter “we found the place where she kept you, finally.” She said looking at Ashlyn with concern. Ashlyn nodded slowly. “I registered it personally and we found prints of her everywhere, along with traces of your blood and all kinds of evidence we could need. Although most things had to be left untouched, I saw a few things that I thought you might want to keep.”

“I don’t want…” Ashlyn’s voice got lost when she saw Detective Fleischmann put a little teddy shark out of the box “Charlotte…”

Ashlyn walked fast to the box, taking the teddy shark with shaking hands before she peeked inside of the box. There was also Charlotte’s blanket, still smelling like her, and a little tales’ book. Those were all of Charlotte’s belongings. Ashlyn’s eyes filled with tears as she looked at the Detective in disbelief and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you” Ashlyn sobbed out.

After the detective left, Ashlyn took the box and walked to her living room. There was a small empty area on top of a chest of drawers and Ashlyn set all the stuff nicely in there, like a memorial zone, and put the drawing she had of the baby on the wall right next to it. She felt a knot in her throat and grabbed her cell phone dialing Ali’s number.

“Ash, hi!” Ali took the call quickly.

“Hi” Ashlyn breathed deeply “great match… I watched it last night in the TV.”

“Thank you, I’m actually in the plane on our way back, it has signal” Ali explained “how have you been?”

“The house looks great” Ashlyn said letting her ass fall on the sofa and blinking the tears away. She sighed “thanks for taking such good care of things while I was gone, by the way.”

“I’m glad you liked it” Ali’s voice replied. Ali could sense things were off but as she knew Ashlyn wasn’t okay, she’d rather not push it “how are your injuries?”

“They’re better” Ashlyn answered “Fleischmann came.” Ali’s breath caught in worry.

“What happened?” Ali’s filled with worry’s voice asked.

“She brought home Charlotte’s things. They found the place where they held us.” Ashlyn explained. Ali breathed deeply in the other line.

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m…” Ashlyn’s voice shook a little “I just wanted to hear you.”

“Okay…” Ali lowered her voice and activated the phone camera. Ashlyn realized and did the same, and Ali smiled at Ashlyn’s teary face. Ashlyn made an effort and smiled a little too “hi.”

“Hi” Ashlyn stroke Ali’s face in the screen “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Ali assured “It’s going to be okay. I’m here.”

“You’re here.”

When Ali made it home later in the day, she found Ashlyn snuggled up in the sofa, hugging Charlotte’s shark and with a tear stained face. Ali wrapped her up in a blanket and Ashlyn stirred awake.

“I’m here” Ali whispered kissing her forehead “come.” Ashlyn snuggled into Ali’s arms and the older woman wrapped them up with a blanket. Ali sat on the sofa comfortably as Ashlyn sat on her and snuggled up against her chest, still sleepy but not so asleep anymore.

“How is it going?” Ashlyn asked with a raspy voice.

“All good now.” Ali answered kissing her on the temple “Go back to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.” At some point Ali observed Ashlyn was having a nightmare. Her chest clung in anxiety thinking the kind of crap they had put her though. How she only craved Ali’s affection sometimes and others she would look panicked when someone made a move to get closer to her. Ali only wanted for Ashlyn to be okay but she wasn’t sure how or when that was going to happen with the way the short haired woman was in pure misery. She was slowly gaining some weight at least, and for now that was the only thing that was positive “Sh… Ash it’s okay… you’re safe…” Ali tried to reach to Ashlyn’s subconscious trying to calm her somehow. The former goalkeeper suddenly shoot awake and hit Ali’s stomach firmly with one arm.

“Get off me! get off me!” Ashlyn yelled jumping from the sofa completely startled. Ali had hug herself in pain, feeling breathless for one moment, but quickly recovered and ran after Ashlyn, who had run to the garden, that was the closest exit.

“Ashlyn!” Ali yelled running after her “Ashlyn! You’re safe!” Ashlyn stood lost in the garden. She looked around with wide eyes, finally waking up after feeling the sun in her skin and the breeze of air “Ashlyn…” Ali breathed out looking at Ashlyn standing in front of her.

“I thought I was back there” Ashlyn breathed out, pale “I thought I was back there…”

“I know” Ali nodded, her eyes full of worry “you’re here in Orlando, with me and I won’t let anyone harm you. You’re safe now, I promise.” Ashlyn nodded and tentatively reached for Ali’s hand. The defender gave it a light squeeze with a little smile “It’s okay. Do you want to stay out here for a while? We could do a picnic for dinner.” Ashlyn looked up at her and nodded, smiling a little bit.

“I’d like that.”

Ali prepared some salad and food so Ashlyn wouldn’t have to go back inside and then together they settled everything in the garden and had dinner under the stars, illuminated by the moon and the lights of the garden.

“It’s unreal” Ashlyn whispered after a while, looking at the sky “I’ve missed this so much…” Ali smiled sadly at her and even though she was dying to wrap her in her arms, she contained herself.

“It must’ve been so claustrophobic.” Ali whispered then. Ashlyn nodded slowly.

“Yeah…” Ashlyn turned her head to look at her “I was never cold. Or hot. There was not a breeze of fresh air ever. Not dust, or insects, or birds, or stars. Not sun or night. I slept whenever I felt tired, which was almost all the time, unless I was feeling full of energy from the lack of moving. Then she’d rape me.” Ashlyn sighed looking down and rubbed her eyes angrily. Ali contemplated her for a few seconds before she reached to caress her face. At first Ashlyn jumped startled, but then she relaxed onto the touch and closed her eyes.

“We’ll make her pay but right now we need to take care of you okay?” Ashlyn nodded slowly, her eyes still closed and leaning against her hand. It was moving for Ali to see how much Ashlyn was trusting her, leaning against her touch “Have you ever bathed naked?” Ali asked suddenly, looking at the swimming pool.

“No.” Ashlyn whispered.

“Okay, strip down your clothes, we’re going to get nude in the pool.” Ashlyn’s eyes snapped open and she looked at her like if she was an alien.

“What?” Ashlyn frowned.

“Come on, let’s bathe under the stars Ashlyn” Ali smiled confident “free from clothes, just feel the fresh water against your skin. It’ll make you feel better, I promise.” Ashlyn doubted for a second and then she saw Ali freely removing her clothes and she blushed. She hadn’t seen Ali like that since they were dating and it had been so long she had forgotten how beautiful she was. And there she was, full of scars. Ali seemed to see her conundrum because she walked to Ashlyn with a confident smile, stark naked and the moon shinning against her skin. She slowly and delicately grabbed Ashlyn’s face between her hands “It’s okay Ash, you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I’ve got you and around me you have nothing to fear.” Ashlyn gulped and nodded slowly. Ali helped her out of her clothing and together they slowly walked the steps into the pool.

Ali was right. The water, slightly warm after a whole day of the sun hitting on it, hugged her body giving her a unique sense of calmness and comfort and she closed her eyes, getting her head inside the water for a moment. When she got her head out, she lost her breath. There was Ali, her face looking at the stars, her hair, damp, falling back and the moon made her shine. Ali turned around and grinned at her, crinkling her nose, and Ashlyn couldn’t help but smile like a fool as Ali swam to her.

“Better?” Ali asked.

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded caressing her hips under the water “you look as beautiful as I remembered.” Ali chuckled.

“You’re a bit worn out but still perfect to me.” Ali sealed her statement with the softest kiss against Ashlyn’s lips. It was so soft for one moment she wasn’t sure of what she had felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'll be back on Monday okay? going for a vacation a few days!


	7. Bloody Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ashlyn enjoys an evening with Serv, Alex and Ali, things get out of hand

“How are the sleeping pills working, Ashlyn?” Ashlyn’s eyes shoot open at the mention of her name and she sighed barely looking at her therapist but moving her face towards him. Ali, sitting beside her, squeezed her hand softly. Ashlyn’s parents, sitting close by, looked at her daughter. It was a couple days after her birthday and the therapist had decided if Ashlyn had people she trusted close, things would be easier for her and to be honest, the former goalkeeper was too worn out to care about her family’s eyes filled with worry and she thought those sessions would make her have to give less amount of explanations out of therapy.

“They knock me out for a few hours” Ashlyn whispered “until the nightmares or pain wakes me up.”

“Are you still in pain then?” he asked softly. He had gentle green eyes and gray hair that it was always a mess. He had a kind expression and a protective looking body. It had taken weeks for Ashlyn to tell a word to him, but now she felt better around him. Plus, she was used to having Ali close by because she would never allow anyone to leave her alone with anyone.

“The doctor said it’s phantom pain” Ashlyn explained “that it will disappear. And they cleared me for sports.” The therapist smiled.

“That’s great news Ashlyn, so going back to the field soon?” Ashlyn sighed and shrugged.

“I’m in no condition for it yet, physically” Ashlyn answered, deciding to collaborate some “and I don’t want to be so exposed. To the cameras, the fans boiling with questions, the journalists too, and that whore getting off in the stands from seeing me play. But who knows what will happen next year.”

“Understandable” the man nodded “so have you experimented any changes in your nightmares?” Ashlyn sighed again and rubbed her tired eyes.

“No. They’re foggier sometimes but still…” Ashlyn shrugged “It’s okay though. Not like I have something important to do in the morning that stops me from sleeping until late.”

“Well you need your rest anyway” the therapist argued “what about the anxiety?”

“Too tired to be anxious” Ashlyn grumbled.

“But you do sometimes” Ali intervened with a soft voice looking at her “you get startled around people sometimes. You still don’t want to be around strangers.”

“And that is okay” Ashlyn argued “I like my peace and quiet. Why wouldn’t I? A daughter and a year of my life were stolen from me and now no one is going to tell me how I should spend my time or how I should behave. I’ve had enough of it.” She said firmly.

“But don’t you think” the therapist started “that letting those things that happened affect your behavior so drastically you’re still imprisoned? That if you could control yourself…”

“Are you a fucking idiot?” Ashlyn yelled suddenly standing up “you don’t know how it is like! You sit here and tell me what I should do or not or what’s wrong with me like if I had a choice in the matter. Like if a year ago I purposely thought ‘sure, let’s get kidnapped and screwed for life!’” Ashlyn gritted her teeth, all eyes focused on her dead serious “Of course I’m still imprisoned. And if you think I’ll ever be free, you’re very damn wrong, just like she will never resuscitate.”

That said, she stormed out of the room. She was so furious she walked fast to the car and then tried to yank the door open, but she didn’t have the keys. Then it hit her; she was completely alone in a parking lot under Earth. She looked around for windows but of course, how was she going to find a window two floors underground? She started breathing heavily as she anxiously looked around.

“Alex…” she whispered feeling herself in the verge of tears “Alex…” She saw the room getting smaller and smaller and started hearing a ring in her ears as she felt more and more unable to breathe, and she shut her eyes closed sitting on the floor with her hands over her head.

“Ashlyn” she opened her eyes and sat Ali, eyes full of worry, crunching in front of her “it’s okay. The car’s open, your dad will drive. Come, let’s get you home alright?” Ashlyn nodded and let Ali help her up and into the backseat. Ali sat next to her, opening Ashlyn’s window for her and opening her arms so Ashlyn could snuggle into her. The younger woman closed her eyes and a few minutes later she felt herself relax into Ali’s arms as the defender kissed her upper head and stroke her whispering comforting words.

When Ashlyn woke up, she was on the sofa and Ali was running her hands through her hair softly. The long haired brunette smiled at the younger woman when she saw her wake up.

“Hello there” Ali said stroking her face as Ashlyn’s head rested on her lap “better?”

“Yeah… thank you” Ashlyn sat up rubbing her eyes “I’m sorry for before… I just…”

“You lost it?” Ali finished up for her, and Ashlyn nodded with a sigh “it’s okay… we all lose control sometimes. Alex and Serv suggested we all go out tonight, to celebrate Serv’s birthday. We’d all understand if you didn’t feel like it, but I figured we could try anyway, get your mind off things for a bit…” Ashlyn nodded slowly.

“Yeah” Ashlyn smiled a little “yeah, we should go. I’ve missed some party.”

The four friends decided to take it easy for the night. Servando had already had a big birthday celebration at his family’s house and also at his hometown with some of his best male friends, so this was just a less caliber party. The four went to a dance place in the city that usually had 80’s music and that wasn’t very loud, and were dancing around.

“You look stunning” Ashlyn whispered hugging Ali from behind as she danced. Ali smiled and squeezed her arm affectionately.

“You too.”

“Hey Ash, look!” Serv was bragging about his dance moves and Ashlyn laughed feeling more at ease finally being able to disconnect her mind a little from all her life issues.

“Looking good Serv!” Ashlyn laughed. Alex laughed too at her fiancé’s antics and pulled him in for a kiss.

“My glass is empty!” Alex noticed after the kiss “I’m going to fill it!”

“No worries, I’ll go!” Ashlyn said “I want another coke.” Ashlyn kissed Ali on the cheek, took Alex’s glass and went to the bar. As she stood in the waiting line, she turned to look at Ali.

The Virginian was dancing her heart out with Alex and Serv, and looked so carefree and happy and whole. Ashlyn couldn’t remember the last time she had seen her so worry free and happy, but it had almost for sure been long before she was kidnapped, which made her sad in the inside. Then her eyes noticed a figure she knew, standing in the darkness with his eyes fixed on Ali’s body. She felt rage creep inside and she left the glasses before running after him. He heard her and ran away, but she followed him into the parking lot.

“Stop!” Ashlyn, despite having done much sport in a while, was still an athlete for years and she had no problem to reach him and jump on him, throwing him to the ground. She sat on him and grabbed him by the neck, removing with another hand the scarf that covered his mouth. The man looked at her with surprise and fear “You grabbed me in that club a year ago. You asked me if I was Chris’ sister and then I was kidnapped.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He then said “What the fuck, dude? I don’t even know you!” Ashlyn could see the lie behind his bad acting but before she could say anything, he reached with his hand to his own mouth, putting something inside of it and then it looked like he was choking.

“Hey! Hey!” Ashlyn tried to get him to breathe but suddenly, he stopped moving, his eyes lost into space. He was dead.

            It took Ali, Serv and Alex two relaxing pills to soothe Ashlyn back into sleep that night. After the man’s body was taken away by the police, Ashlyn told them all she knew, and a forensic realized the man had poisoned himself, so it was not Ashlyn’s fault. However, an investigation had to be run because police couldn’t just say there was no chance that Ashlyn hadn’t poisoned her. They had to prove it. So the friends took the former goalkeeper home and Ali settled her in bed and waited until she had long fallen asleep to go downstairs, where Alex and Servando, her husband, were talking quietly.

            “She’s asleep.” Ali announced. Alex let a breathe out of relief.

            “Is this nightmare ever going to end?” Alex asked rhetorically full of worry. Ali breathed out and crossed her arms over her chest looking defeated “how are you doing?”

            “I’m worried as hell” Ali whispered letting herself fall next to Alex and Servando on the sofa “I don’t understand why would anybody go against her, she’s the sweetest human on Earth!” she whispered-yelled. Servando shook his head and sighed.

            “We should go” Servando said “you go to bed okay?” Ali nodded and Servando and Alex got up “Sleep well Ali…”

            “Call us if you need anything.” Alex squeezed her hand affectionately before going away. Ali walked with them to the door, closing it behind them before jogging back upstairs.

            “Ali?” Ashlyn whispered hoarsely as Ali slid behind her in the bed.

            “Yeah” Ali kissed her shoulder and Ashlyn snuggled against her, both falling asleep shortly after.

            When Ali woke up in the morning, Ashlyn curved her lips into a tiny smile as she watched her wake up, which made the defender giggle.

            “What are you doing, creep?” Ali joked rubbing the sleep off her face.

            “Just looking at something beautiful” Ashlyn sighed, passing her fingers through Ali’s chin, as she contemplated the woman with adoration.

            “Are you feeling any better?” Ali asked concerned.

            “Yes” Ashlyn nodded “thanks for coping with me last night it’s just… I freaked out big time, didn’t I?”

            “Well it’s normal” Ali shrugged “all of this is fucking crazy and now police is investigating you for murder.”

            “I think she did it, Alex” Ashlyn said “I’ve been thinking for a while and it only makes sense that the two of them were related, doesn’t it?”

            “I don’t know Ash… nothing really makes sense. Why would he say the stuff he said to you? Why would he be useful to her?” Ashlyn sighed and shrugged.

            Ali got out of bed and got dressed and while she did this, she turned around to see Ashlyn lying on bed looking at the ceiling with an expression of pure sickness.

            “What are you thinking?” Ali asked sliding her legs inside some trousers.

            “When is this hell going to end” Ashlyn whispered. Ali sighed and before she could say anything, Ashlyn’s cell rang and the former goalkeeper stirred an arm towards the night stand to answer the call “Hey Crystal, what’s up? Yeah, I’m holding up, don’t worry… oh yeah true, I remember… sounds cool Crys, we’ll be there” Ashlyn chuckled “yeah, bring some Swiftie!” Ashlyn giggled and hung up. She looked at Ali, the shadow of the giggle still visible in her face “Crystal Dunn has invited us to her birthday barbeque this weekend.”

            “Good” Ali smiled and nodded walking towards the bed, already dressed, and sitting next to Ashlyn, who sat up looking at her. Ali sweetly stroke her cheek “I don’t know when is this going to end, but we will stick together, okay?” Ashlyn forced a small smile and nodded “Good.” Ali kissed her shortly “I’m going to buy some groceries and I’ll be right back. Why don’t you get in the pool for a bit? You look pale.”

            “Yeah, we’ll see…” Ashlyn saw her get to the door “I love you Alex.” Ali stopped by the bedroom door and smiled looking at her.

            “I love you too.”


	8. Fanfic on pause

Guys I'm sorry but chapter 8 only has like two paragraphs written. I've long forgotten what this story was about and I feel terrible because one I hate abandoning my own work and two I know many people love the story and have been asking for new chapters so don't fear! I'm going to try and continue writing this, but you're going to have to wait until the summer so bookmark and you'll get a warning when there's a new chapter! I'm getting my holidays in June so then I'll start re-watching Krashlyn stuff, falling in love with them all over again, and planning the rest of this story.

 

This is just life, there are times one's all over one couple and suddenly life gets hectic and then you're interested in other things, but well, I'll see what I can do.

 

I'll try my best. For you :)

 

Thank you!

 

Jules


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